A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Nick Cannon

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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