Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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