What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Soccer...

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops