A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

thumb_up thumb_down -22

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops