what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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9/11

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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were at work systems r down

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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My love life

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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