A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jebron Lames.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +12

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

it's funny because it's funny

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops