if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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Replacement Referees

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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