- Anti Joke

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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