What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops