When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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j

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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