how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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Ben Affleck

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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