Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

willam dafoe

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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