What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Swag.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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