3 like an eel

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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hi mom

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Your life

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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