What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

what goes woof ? A dog.

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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