How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops