Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops