What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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12

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Justin beiber's penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops