What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Barack Obama

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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