There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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