Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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