why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

YO FACE

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

What is not funny Bad jokes!????

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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