Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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I woke up today

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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