What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what's up? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +28

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +28

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops