- Anti Joke

Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA goes crazy and shoots himself

why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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