"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

Hey how is your wife and my kids

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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