What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Title IX

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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