How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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