Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops