Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops