a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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minorities

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Gay's

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops