What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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42

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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