A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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