So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Compton

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops