What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

What's 1+1? 69.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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