what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

were at work systems r down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a black person call black friday? Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops