Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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