Take wrong turns

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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