Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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I need to start studying.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Where's the dick??? east

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops