what is big and can make things come out? a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops