What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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