the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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Women's rights...

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops