Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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hi mom

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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go F*** yourself

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops