Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Religion.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops