Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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