Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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