this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

rawrrrrrrrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -16

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

thumb_up thumb_down -16

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops