What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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rent a cops

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops