Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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12

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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