Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops