Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Women's Professional _________

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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