A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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